The Craziest Things Guys Can Do With Their Penises: A Wit-Wild Guide To Them (Part 2)
In the male genitals, nothing causes as much curiosity, comedy and suspension of disbelief as what’s happening with the penis. The practices and practices surrounding this organ can be odd, shocking and just plain strange very often. Cultural norms aside, the extremes to which some men will go to show off or tamper with their penises can bewilder many to the nth degree. The following series on the oddest things guys can do with their penises will cover more of the variations in behaviors, norms and even witty tales of what goes on in this private part of our lives.
The Penis and Society: An Uneasy Unity.
From antiquity to today, the penis has played a huge role in culture, from a locus of authority and virility to one of ridicule and humiliation. It is society’s masculinity expectations that have dictated how men perceive, animate and ascribe sexuality. So strange behaviours, shaped by culture and even by human psychology, come to the fore.
The Humour of the Male Appendage.
1. Joke and Puns Galore
The cure is laughter and no object makes you smile so readily as the penis. It tends to take center stage in male chatter, whether in the locker room or among buddies. The history of sexual gags and puns around this little part is as varied as its puns: from humorous sarcasm to vulgar games of cards. Comedy about the penis is sure to make any group crack up and bring them into a fit of laughter.
Who doesn’t have the old joke “this is the funniest thing since sliced bread!” about some particular ridiculous act? Or the jocular “my eyes are up here!” that flips the script? The innocent vagueness of sexual jokes means men can discuss personal issues while enjoying the comradery of laughter. These jokes also ease some of the anxiety that sometimes emerges from talks about one’s self-conception, relationship, or libido.
2. The Trust Fall
From the bouquet of silly jokes floating around the male universe, there is one that really makes sense: the “trust fall” of the male appendage. This is probably the most weird thing that you’ve ever seen, but men – surprising many – do just that, displaying courage and, perhaps, friendship. The ritual is often witty: letting a friend slap him across the bum while the appendage lies on the ground, or cradling the appendage on the edge of a wall so he can see it swing in uncensored delight.
These wild burlesque riffs are sprinkled with risquéness, often leading to laugh-out-loud hysteria. These are not just amusing but they help to build connections that are different from male relations. These strange, sometimes silly encounters can make some wonderful friendships, with friendships based on humour and enjoyment.
The Bizarre Channeling of Creativity
1. Creative Measurements
There have been endlessly many mischievous ways that “size matters” has inspired, and the funny amorphous solutions for how to combat such root-based insecurity are often hilarious. Or the case of a stand-up comic who uses a roll of toilet paper as a measuring stick. In his story of coming to accept himself, he plays with comparing the roll’s length to his own. The silliness of the visual aids and his keen humour guarantee roaring laughter and revelations.
These sort of laugh-alongs are the important way in which body image and self-esteem are started up. They make it possible for men to talk openly about their vulnerability, sometimes resulting in communal laughter that turns something that can be so fearful into a bonding topic. This parodic incarnation of creativity creates a special kind of environment where discussions about self-image no longer impose their own weight or isolate. In repurposing insecurities as gags, men find common ground in an empowered space where human fallibility is celebrated.
2. Fashion Statements
Yet in another incredible aspect of this crazy injection of energy, fashion has taken up the male body in ways that used to be unthinkable. “Penis jewelry” might not be the stuff of a fashion magazine but it is becoming a cult trend for daredevils. From dermal piercings to body jewellery, men are finding novel ways to be men and buck old gender stereotypes.
Such an acceptance of outlandish accessories prompts more generally a consideration of cultural attitudes to the male body. For others, such daring looks are a form of anti-conformism in which they question and live out their sexuality in exciting, unexpected ways. Bizarrely, but freeing, these alternative modalities of expression reverse the trajectory of the male body, allowing men to overcome masculinity’s stigmas.
By creating in this way, these are people opening critical spaces for vulnerability and identity. Not only does penis jewellery honour male sexuality but the subject matter of body positivity, self-love and authenticity comes into focus as well.
The Contagion of Disease and Phytopathology.
1. Extensive Grooming Regimens
No longer is personal grooming of the man confined to a shave and comb. This is our age, manscaping, it has become commonplace and the default choice of a great number of men. You may think with new cutting tools and high-tech grooming from the precision trimmer to the wax, all of these commitments to cleanliness guarantees a streamlined look and hygiene. But there are those whose fixation can also be the source of nutty habits.
There are even patterns indented into the hair of the pubic – almost as an art installation. Or a clever nod to a favourite sports team? Laughable though these intricate patterns might be, they are usually just distractions from the actual issue at hand: painless grooming. There are men, though, who go all the way shaven that will leave you with a nasty cut, redness or infection. Rather than being a badge of honour, these endeavours sometimes turn into comedy faux pas, as people tell about red rash and failed trims.
2. The “Threshold” Challenge
And there’s the famous “Threshold Challenge.” The enigma is when a team of men challenge each other to see how far they can go by testing their temperatures, for entertainment or ridicule. Men might ice their genitals in sub-zero baths, or, to be fair, light firecrackers from their shorts, in the name of going above and beyond.
The actions might be laughable and sociable at the time, but the risk-taking is highly dangerous for health. Having real accidents from shorts-clad fireworks displays is also a harbinger of the risks that come with these ludic challenges. The narratives of triumph are, after all, followed by tales of regret, a puddle of tears and perhaps an emergency room visit. Sometimes what starts as a challenge to manhood turns into a demonstration of safety-or lack of it.
The Struggle of Relationship Dynamics
1. The “Character Actor” Syndrome
In the case of relationships, the need to deliver throws off a check and creates unintended consequences. The “Character Actor” syndrome is what sometimes happens when men are dealing with the problems of sex acting. Some men pretend to be too good, or in fucking role-play ridiculousness when the penis is on display in order to conceal their insecurities or just to entertain at sex time.
From playing romantic spies on a high-stakes adventure, to the goofy figure of an action hero, such games are funny as well as puzzling. Comedy can do wonders for the sex, but sometimes couples may feel like they’re in for a show instead of true connection. This quest for certainty can be fun and even entertaining but it also sometimes ends in misinformation and humiliation if either partner is not on the same page.
2. The Confidence Factor
And then there is the weird world of self-esteem rituals. And for many men, that could look like some unorthodox “power poses” in front of mirrors, with gimcracks and impromptu dances for self-promotion. They are intended to build self-esteem, but they can also become hysterical, when shared with an audience or in advance-date preparations.
Some men might be charmed by their idiosyncrasies but these will make for clumsy dates or situations in which the self-empowering action becomes less sexual than showy. Suppose you are sitting across the room, and your date is doing this crazy Tai Chi to “swell it up” (a little distracting and a bit repulsive!). These are the things men will do to feel likable, and show us the humour in the experience of masculinity and sex.
The Cultural Aspects
1. Unusual Rituals and Traditions
In some societies, the connection to masculinity can also take the form of obscene customs that seem unnatural to the uninitiated. There are tribes, for example, that practise dramatic initiatory actions such as tattooing the penis or performing certain ritual circumcisions. Such rituals might be culturally profound, or initiations into masculinity, but they often cause confusing reactions from those not familiar with their intentions.
These customs are usually active in the body and mind of manhood. They are symbols not only of adulthood but also of perseverance, resilience, and sometimes hurt. The rituals are self-respecting for those involved but still, for observers, profoundly weird – evidence of the heterogeneous world of masculinity.
2. The Influence of Media
Media has been a key agent in the formation of popular ideas about what masculine genitalia, and how to act around it, looks like. In films, television and on social media, male arrogance was portrayed with great exaggeration. And the “dick pic” blight is just one instance of the way these representations have creeped into daily life and the dating scene.
As Tinder and Instagram had introduced the shared intimacy, men have had to tread some rough seas of the internet. The pressure to be the perfect male usually sets them up for failures, both on their own and those of their future lovers. It could be that the truth was self-esteem as measured by size, skill, or just the power to send “the right kind” of photo, which, arguably, makes men vulnerable to insecurities that can take the form of bizarre actions.
Ending: A Random, Unless You Plan It So That’s Just What Humans Do.
When we consider the most absurd things that men do with their penises, we realise that this part of the body isn’t just a biochemical device, but a repository for a whole range of human feelings, social pressures and ever-shifting notions of what it means to be a man. Penis experiences and gestures are all funny and weird, yet all of them form part of a larger picture of what it means to be a man in the modern world.
Each eccentric habit reveals something about the inner workings of male masculinity, social pressures and individual self-discovery. Even though these practices can be amusing in their humour, they invite some deep thinking about the social reality of the matter, and about what it means to be OK in one’s skin. It is perhaps as simple as allowing for the weirdness of it all that we need to be able to become more authentic and dismantle some of the conservative models of masculinity that remain in place today.
