Body change is natural, and everyone has to go through it, but if you’re a parent and your son is going through puberty, it is important to help and guide him throughout the process. Here are 5 tips for talking to your son about puberty.
- Do not sound if it’s an awkward topic
The more easily you make it, the more easily your son will take it. If you yourself sound like it is going to be a very awkward conversation, your son may not even open-up in front of you.
Probably the reason why you are procrastinating about talking to your son about puberty is how to start. Well, find ice breakers with his favorite song, or game.
In between cracking jocks and laughing together, introduce puberty topics. Per the Stanford Health website, don’t freak yourself and the kid out by summoning him for a serious big formal conversation. Instead, initiate it as a relaxed round table family conversation.
At the age of puberty, kids themselves do get confused about what is happening to their body and mind, why they are feeling few things differently, what is causing this change, whom should they talk to and more questions like this already occupy their head.
If you explain things in a friendly and easy manner, he too will feel relaxed and listen to you eagerly. Rather than talking to him as a parent, start the conversation as a friend. Because at this age, friends get closer than family, so you too have to get into the role of a true friend for him and make him feel the same way his friends do.
- Use routine incidents to trigger the communication
If you are confused about how to start the conversation, take the help of the situation that arises in our day to day routine. For example, if a deodorant advertisement comes up and the man in that ad sprays it in underarms; then probably you can start with the question like – “Do you know why a fragrance needs to be used on underarms?”. If he already knows the answer, then you may trigger further relevant questions like – “Are you aware why we have hair in armpits?” and then lead the conversation by answering the question.
You may also take it further and consider talking about the hair on the genital area too and the scientific reasons behind it. Make it look like a flow and obvious, incident conversation instead of a deliberate conversation. Show him that this knowledge is useful for his betterment, his future, and knowing how the human body grows and works will help him.
- Do not avoid answers
It is quite possible that your son may come to you first with the questions before you initiate the conversation. Even if you are not prepared for this situation, still keep the courage to answer him right at that point instead of postponing the situation. Keep in mind that he is not a small kid anymore and he needs to know the true answers; so, do not give round-round answers. That will only confuse him more. Puberty age is by default a very confusing stage in one’s life as lots of body changes do happen that are new and unexplained.
Your vague answers will only make the situation more complicated for him. And he may try to take the help of other sources that could not be so reliable. False and misleading information may make it worse. Therefore, answer him with the help of scientific facts and by using biological terms. He can relate with the terms whenever he comes across such situations going further like when there would be an educative session in school, or any medical show on TV, or any health-related book he might be reading, etc. The more often he hears and reads the terms, the more comfortable he will get with them.
- Talk about his emotional changes
In the age of puberty, your son will also start having different feelings. These feelings could be more intense or subtle sometimes. There could be heavy mood swings going on in his head, such as sometimes he may overflow with enthusiasm and energy, but other times he may feel too tired to do anything or weak or sad; he may feel very happy for no reason at all and at times sad feelings even if everything is all right.
He himself must be feeling puzzled, but you need to assure him that this roller coaster of moods is very natural, and it is a part of his growth process. He might have started feeling differently about the girls around him in school or home and this is something you have to tell him in a subtle manner without sounding too obvious for his feelings because he needs to have everything in control and hold it together.
- Be his friend more than just a parent
Children at puberty age can be difficult to handle, but once you get control over the situation, it can be handled appropriately. By means of taking control is not to control your child but to go on his level and be in his shoes in every situation.
Try to understand his emotions rather than being just a control freak parent. Kids tend to repel away from such parents, instead, they want their parents to treat them equally, no matter what age they are.
Being his friend would be the best thing you can do for him and he will be privileged to receive absolutely reliable and authenticated knowledge about everything he needs to know i.e. from you.
Or else, he might choose some wrong source of information that might mislead him and may turn harmful. Kids ate that age have already been exposed to much information about human sexual anatomy through TV and the internet.
This means that you aren’t starting from a clean slate. But as per the Verywell family website, too much information could be misleading, especially when it comes from untrusted sources.
Seeking his trust and attention, then be honest with your answers. Ask him if he has ever attended any educative session in school regarding the human body.
Freely discuss the reproductive system, and adult stuff. Still, check the level of his understanding, assure him that it is all-natural, but it has to be in our control without having an encouraging effect.
Ask about his personal problems, any barriers he is stuck in, or anything on which he needs advice. Get in his innermost circle wherein he can always consider you first in any situation.
Bonus Tips Submitted By Viewers
- Make it regular
Puberty takes time. For some kids, it starts early and lingers for a long. Yet other kids may have a shortened puberty, which sets in late but brings fast transformation to their bodies.
This duration is full of physical, and mental changes. Still, these kids undergo a lot of mental and emotional turmoil.
And it’s here that your direction as a parent is crucial. Of course, these adolescents are getting information about sexuality.
But not all that he is fed over the media and social media are 100% accurate. Some facts may be distorted or not appropriate for specific conditions.
As a parent, you can tailor make the essential information to suit your son’s unique attributes. This way the kid relates well.
Better still, this discussion shouldn’t be a one-off training form of talk. Talk to your boy regularly, gauging his comprehension of the issues at hand.
Still, give them special attention when they seem bothered by discoveries.
- Be specific
Generalities don’t help when talking to your son about puberty. Specify what they expect to see, especially when you start this talk a bit early.
During the onset of puberty, both physical and psychological changes happen. So it’s better that you describe to your son how he is going to change physically and mentally.
You should inform him of vocal changes that would more or less boom like yours. His thighs will thicken and strengthen.
Let him know that he will grow tall fast and have hair sprouting on his chest, underarms and groins even nostrils. You should tell him his penis would grow huge and erect at any time.
Yet mentally, he’ll feel rude and out of control. Reassure him that these changes are temporary.
Bullying is usually ripe during this stage. So ask him to desist from humiliating his friends however the urge to do so.
Still, guide him on how to manage such situations.
- Fake it
Kids could ambush you with uncomfortable and unnerving questions about their bodies. Sometimes, you are so focused on your routine that you fail to comprehend the entire topic.
Yet these youngsters look upon you for genuine answers. Oftentimes, though, you don’t have any.
What do you do under the circumstances? Well, you try to be logical. You can wiggle out by faking some narratives.
But remember that these kinds of questions will keep coming. The best way to deal with them is to research more and get appropriate answers.
In such situations, don’t try to be uncomfortable or listless. When you look embarrassed, your kids may feel that way too.
But this discomfort is what you should avoid. Always be confident and honest. But keep it brief and concise so that the kids don’t deduce another question from your narrative.
Remember that puberty is all about instilling confidence in your kids and helping them grow more knowledgeable about their bodies and sexuality.
- Be concise
Kids’ minds are still developing. So they can’t take in so much at once.
Just the way children eat in small bits many times a day, so is how you should dispense communication about puberty.
Puberty topic is wide and growing. But you have the advantage of passing through it, hence may use your life experience to tackle your child’s insecurities.
You have to demonstrate what it is. When you use clear wording and demonstration, you help them understand the situation better.
Your children may be already confused by their situation. Hence muddying this topic only makes matter worse for them.
It’s not hard to be precise. Begin with a short statement or a point of their question that leads to the full answer. Then you finish with an example.
Here you use few words to mean much. This way you eliminate verbose and technical details that may be misconstrued or could be ambiguous.
- Start early
The most confusing issue about discussing puberty with your kids is when you should open this topic. The verdict is still out there.
Adolescent medical doctors, sex therapists, and Gyn/Obs all have the same range. Most agree that at eight years, any child should begin getting versed in sexual anatomy and mechanics.
This is the period when hormonal changes start evolving in your children’s bodies. But the earlier you begin the talk, the better for both of you, according to John Hopkins All Children Hospital website.
After all, you have already been talking to your toddler about eating well to grow, going to school and what they want to be when they grow up.
These experts mention that starting this two years later isn’t that bad. But when the children reach ten, both you and them should be pretty savvy in the puberty details.
Starting after the child comes to puberty isn’t helpful. This delay will leave them unprepared as puberty knocks them as an avalanche.
They have so much going on in their bodies. Still, many mental changes are happening too quickly for them to comprehend if they are unprepared.
When this happens, they may resort to accessing bad websites which could entice them into harmful vices. After all, you didn’t prepare them adequately.
In conclusion, we have covered five ways you can have conversations about puberty with your son. We hope you can now consider the tips we have provided and conclude whether they work better for you or not.
SIMILAR QUESTION
What Age Should My Son Hit Puberty?
The age at which a son will hit puberty is a question that has been asked by many parents. While the average age of onset of puberty for boys is between ages 9 and 14, it can vary greatly from person to person. Factors such as genetics, nutrition, and lifestyle can all influence the age of puberty onset. As a parent, it is important to understand what is happening during puberty and the health concerns associated with it in order to make an informed decision about when your son should hit puberty.
The onset of puberty in boys typically includes physical changes such as an increase in height, weight, and muscle mass. These changes typically occur during the ages of 9-14, but it is important to note that the onset and rate of these changes can vary greatly. In addition to physical changes, boys will also experience a range of emotional and social changes that accompany puberty. These can include increased interest in the opposite sex, increased self-consciousness, and increased risk-taking behavior.
It is important for parents to be aware of the potential health concerns that can come with the onset of puberty. During puberty, boys’ bodies are undergoing many changes, which can put them at risk for certain health conditions such as obesity, acne, and reproductive health issues. It is important to discuss these health concerns with your son and provide them with the knowledge and tools to make healthy lifestyle choices.
When deciding at what age your son should hit puberty, it is important to consider all of the factors involved. It is important to monitor your son’s physical and emotional development and talk to him about the changes he is experiencing. In addition, it is important to discuss any health concerns with your son’s doctor. Ultimately, the decision of when your son should hit puberty is up to you and should be based on your knowledge and understanding of the changes that occur during this time.
