5 Incredibly Funny Things Men Do With Their Penises

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Yes, men do many weird things with their penis besides rubbing it. But do you know men do funny things with their penis too? We have found the 5 amusing things men do with their penises.

  1. Fitting it in things

Young and adolescent boys are guilty of these actions. The penis creates great excitement during puberty. Besides, males at this stage realize that their rods can do much more than pour urine.

These boys turn this realization into a whole new exploratory toy to adventure. And as with any new toy, they take their experiments far.

Most of these actions arise from curiosity and desire to size it up. To gauge the girth of their penises, these boys don’t waste time trying it on all kinds of opening.

The most popular try is inserting the rod in the tissue roll. Since these boys are unsure how to make love, they see these carton rolls as the best places to try a penile penetration.

But some men have gone to extremes in trying out what their rods are capable of. One newspaper wrote a story of a clumsy man painting nude who got his penis jammed inside a pipe for two days.

Other men are used to sticking it in any hole. According to an article on You Tango, some men used leather seats with parted cushions for this purpose.

The divisions offer a perfect cleavage, and all they need is a can of lotion to get going.

The article titled “11 Weirdest Places Men Have Stuck Their Penises” mentions any furry object, be it a toy, a doll, a rug or a sock, as affording some consolation to these boys.

This man was trying to use his natural paint brush for the art.

  1. Elongate it

All men are probably guilty of this action. They like to pull their phallus every now and then.

Some do this act in private, while other flex their penises in public.

Many factors force these men to pull their manhood. Some may be habitual. Here they form a habit of pulling their private parts, say when they sit down or stand.

Many men use these actions to ensure that their member is as comfortable as possible.

Privately, some men deliberately stretch their phallus to massage and relax it. It could be due to the constricted space their penises are in.

So whenever these men get some privacy, they ensure to pull it to ease the strain and discomfort. Yet other just do this for fun. This category of men try to see how far it can go.

Other men engage in the stretching exercises hoping that the penis grows longer, or look huge.

Still, this isn’t possible. According to a publication in the Sun online magazine, an average penis is just 5 inches long.

The article further states that you can undergo a penis surgery to enlarge your penis, but this is only useful when you have a micropenis. This refers to a condition where your penis is less than 3 inches erect.

  1. Inspect it

A modest visual assessment of the penis is recommended. After all, it’s through assessing your member that you could notice any infection or STIs before it grows.

Most men concede to visual review of their members once in a while. When they think it’s appropriate, they use the bathroom and mirrors to inspect their male parts for any sign of abnormality. And there is nothing wrong.

But some men are just obsessed with this act. They keep checking their rods all the time. It does matter whether they are a public place or with respectable people.

Mentally, men attach great importance to their penis. So they keep on checking it, like their phone, all the time.

A few of these men may have overtly sensitive penis that triggers overreaction. So it’s not uncommon to check it out even in the middle of public commute.

But to the ordinary people, this habit is both strange and weird at the same time.

  1. Hold it

Holding penis is another funny activity that men do without thinking. This also crop from many factors.

Men engage in this behavior due to insecurity, anatomy, or out of habit. You see, people have various wary to calm and comfort themselves.

Some hold their hands together, others fold their hands on their chest. But some men hold their penis to derive this calmness.

But why do some men reach for their phallus without batting an eye? Per an article on the Men’s Health magazine, these men fondle their penis for various reasons.

Sentimental attachment and subconscious reaction force some men to intuitively handle their penis. These moves are reassuring to calm themselves during tense situations.

Any slight tension lead these men to hold their penis in every circumstances. These include situations such as when stuck in traffic, when walking in a bad neighborhood or feeling cold and lonely.

Some do this as a protective measure. They want to put a shield between their soft nether and the potential hazards of the outside environment.

Yet others find that their clothing crammed and keep bruising on the penis and scrotum. To protect against this painful experience, they revert to holding their penis in the ideal position throughout.

  1. Drape it

Just like you cover yourself when retiring to bed after a long day at works, some men also drape their willies in fabrics. The reason behind this action is unknown.

But it is thought that men regard their member highly and so pamper it like a pet. Tissue rolls, hand towels and soft fabric are the common materials used for covering the tired penis.

Some men use their body parts for the same purpose. So it’s not unique to find men sleeping with their rods tucked in between their warm thighs.

These gestures could be a way of insulating their nether parts against any harm. But it could also signify love and affection for the body part that most men regard so highly.

But some men aren’t so tender. They believe that male member must be subject to harsh treatment to firm up. So these men resort to thrusting their penis inside hard cold items such as plastic bottles.

In conclusion, we have found and compiled five hilarious things men do with their penises. So, we hope that the information provided here can help you understand what funny things men have been doing and why.

SIMILAR QUESTION

Why You Should Stop Worrying About Your Penis Size?

Introduction

When it comes to sex, one of the most common worries for men is penis size. Many men worry that their penis might not be big enough and that their performance in bed might suffer as a result. Despite the prevalence of this fear, it is important to note that worrying about penis size is unnecessary and can have a negative impact on your sex life. This paper will discuss why worrying about penis size is unnecessary and the potential negative consequences of such worries.

Body

The first reason why worrying about penis size is unnecessary is because it is not as important as many people think it is. While it is true that size can play a role in sexual satisfaction, it is not the only factor that matters. Factors such as foreplay, communication, and technique are just as important, if not more so, than penis size. Additionally, the average penis size is 5.5 to 6.3 inches in length when erect, meaning that most men’s penis size falls within the range of what is considered normal.

Furthermore, worrying about penis size can have a negative impact on your sex life. This is because anxiety about penis size can lead to performance anxiety which can lead to erectile dysfunction. Additionally, worrying about penis size can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem which can have a negative impact on your overall mental health.

Conclusion

In conclusion, worrying about penis size is unnecessary and can have a negative impact on your sex life and mental health. It is important to remember that penis size is not the only factor that matters in a sexual encounter and that most men’s penis size falls within the range of what is considered normal. Therefore, it is important to remember that worrying about penis size is unnecessary and can have a negative impact on your sex life and mental health.

Increasing Sperm Count - Sleep Better

Everybody takes a nap every day – even some animals do. But very few people are aware of the fact that sleeping helps in increasing the sperm count. How? Well, when you sleep your penis enters a relaxation mode. During this mode, your scrotum replenishes its nutrients at a greater pace than it would have done when you’re busy with it during the day. Sleeping gives your penis more opportunities to produce more semen as your body digests food.

There are many ways men can have their sleep – and it won’t be surprised if people invent new sleeping patterns. But the best way to sleep better is to have a longer sleep. A longer sleep goes beyond the usual six hours per night and could be as long as ten hours. This can be achieved by sleeping earlier from 8:30 to 6 pm.

Don’t ever think you’ll need a drug to sleep that long, what you’ll need is discipline cut down on work times and invest more of your time for the family as well as yourself. This way, you’ll find it easier to create more time for sleep. If you feel you wake up too early, then you can masturbate before you sleep.

Masturbation helps in inducing sleep after you’ve ejaculated. If you have a partner with you, having sex with her a better alternative to masturbation – but only do that if she is in the mood.

However, sleeping for longer hours is not all there is to sleep better. You’ll need to have a good sleeping posture as well as good clothing on your bed. Also, room temperature has to be cold as heat could lead to excessive sweating which could, in turn, lead to interruptions while you nap. If you’re living in warmer climates, then it is best to sleep with very light clothing and no pants on. This way you can curb excess room heat.

Semen Quality And Male Infertility

When it comes to conceiving the sperm health and the semen quality play a very vital role. Semen is a whitish gray liquid that comes out of the penis when men ejaculate.

Semen consists of sperms that get transported into the female uterus so that they can fertilize the eggs, leading to pregnancy in females. When there is insufficient semen or sperm in the body, it leads to infertility in men.

The composition of Semen and Their Functions

The production of semen in the body is primarily taken up by 4 major sexual organs. These are the testes, epididymis, prostate, seminal vesicles and the bulbourethral gland.

The tests are responsible for the production of sperm in the body and also help in the production of inhibin and testosterone. The sperm gets matured in the epididymis.

The prostate glands help in supplying about 20% of the semen volume. The fluids in the prostate consist of proteolytic enzymes and acid phosphate that can help in improving the volume of the semen.

The seminal vesicles contribute at least 70% of the semen volume. The fructose in the semen comes from these vesicles and is used by the sperm as an energy source. Last but not least the bulbourethral gland helps in the production of mucoproteins that contribute to about 5% of the semen volume.

Causes of Infertility in Men

The causes for infertility can either be physical, psychological or environmental. It again varies from one person to another.

Some of the common causes of male infertility may include hormonal disorders, chromosomal defects, vitamin deficiencies, and low production of testosterone in the body, retrograde ejaculations and many more.

Performance anxiety, stress, trauma, and even depression can also cause a decline in sperm health. Psychological issues can cause the mind to stray and indulge in smoking or alcohol consumption to bring down the stress levels. This, in turn, can lead to damage to the sperm and semen quality.

Pesticides, industrial agents and heavy metals too can lead to infertility in men. X-rays and radiations can bring down the production of the sperm in the body.

Similarly overheating the testicles by soaking in Jacuzzis, saunas and hot tubs can cause the temperature in the scrotum to increase thereby causing temporary damage to the sperm.

Improving Fertility in Men

Just by following certain basic steps and making changes in your lifestyle can help in improving the semen and sperm health.

Begin by consuming foods rich in zinc and L-Arginine. Zinc helps in the production of the testosterone and these couples with food rich in amino acids can help in improving the semen quality considerably.

Drink plenty of water since it helps to flush out wastes and other toxins from the body. Practice safe sex and limit yourself to one partner. Wear condoms to protect yourself from STD's. Kegeling is a good way to improve the sperm count and improve the quality of the semen.

Wear loose-fitting clothes. Switch to boxers rather than tight briefs. This helps the testicles to breathe freely. Quit smoking and limit your alcohol content to two glasses a day.

Here Is One Interesting Fact about Sperm

Drugs and sperm

There are many negative effects on the body from taking drugs. The more drugs that you take the worse and more long-term the damage can be.

This is the case for both prescribed and recreational drugs, but the heavier the drug and the longer that you are taking it, the more chance there is that the semen and subsequently sperm will become damaged. It is predominately that the drugs are able to transport through the body and into the seminal plasma.

This plasma is secreted by the body by the genital glands. Many drugs have been linked to an "infection" of this important plasma, which causes terrible degradation to the mobility and vitality of the sperm.

Sperm is also damaged in the mitochondria due to certain drugs and is increasingly believed to be responsible for genetic mutations or birth defects. About the only drug, you should think about taking if you want a great sperm sample is a supplement with loads of zinc, folic acid, and a great vitamin pill!

Ask Us Questions Related To Increasing Sperm Count - Sleep Better

How long should I sleep?

How long one should sleep varies from person to person and many factors can come into play in that regard. Worklife, family, health, etc. are just a few of such factors. However, if your aim to improve your health – sperm count in particular – then sleeping for 7 to 9 hours per night is advised. You might need to make significant adjustments to your work and family life to meet this target.

How does sleep improve sperm count?

To understand how sleep can affect our sperm count we need to know that sleeping less than 6 hours a day can affect the production of testosterone in our body. This reduces the sperm count and sperm motility of your sperm and in turn affect your fertility.

I can’t sleep for long what should I do?

If you feel deprived of sleep, here are some things you can do

  1. Check your work life: A healthy work-life shouldn’t go beyond 50 hours per week which means around 7 hours per day if you work 7 days a week and 10 hours per day if you work 5 days per week – excluding holidays of course. Anything beyond that could deprive you of the much-needed rest for your sexual health.
  2. Check your health: It may be possible that an underlying mental health issue could deprive you of sleep. If this is the case with you, consult a doctor who can help with diagnosis and prescription medicines.
  3. Create a time table and stick to it: Since sleeping is very important, planning for it and sticking to the plan can help you sleep better.

When should I sleep?

You can sleep at any time. However, the best time for sleep is night time. If you’re on a night shift at work, you can make up for the lost night time by sleeping in the day.